| - We belong together -
so you ask me, "what's on your mind?" and i tell you...
"where do i start?"
there's been a lot on my mind lately; all having to deal with what lays ahead of me. the uncertainty of tomorrow. the mystery of the future. the day that everything will suddenly make sense. the future is mine. and i sit and stare at nothing but the air you might say or maybe i'm just lost in this labyrinth of complexities that are beyond my capability of understanding. i tie myself in a knot of questions left unanswered. i lay helpless and in the wrath of laziness. i'm caught and i can't be set free until that reality slap really hits me. i want to create a path that no one has traveled. i want to change the world little by little. i want to escape ignorance and i want to face my fears.
i am young but of legal age. i am naive. i am a hypocrite. i am inconsiderate at times. i am everything you wish you weren't. i am a recluse. i am kind. i am compassionate. i am genuine. i am spontaneous. i am caring. i am careful. i am cautious. i am catholic. i am faithful. i am everything i was made to be. i am an extrovert. i am alive.
so there is no real format to this entry. it's everything and anything random that has been on my mind. i never knew how hard it would hit me to know that people could affect me so much to the point where one thing will bring me back to that one moment i first met that person whether it be a song or some sign in a movie or maybe something i see when i'm driving. and this doesn't apply to one person. more like, everyone i come across that i don't see in a while. it's a sad sad thing but it's reality and "truth is" i miss the good times shared with old friends and friends that have moved on to different chapters of their lives. though the times keep moving and changing, i will never let go of the character that was built throughout the good times and bad.
i've learned that nothing in life comes easy and nothing should be dwelled upon, always wishing and waiting for something to happen. life is worth all it's cut out to be if you tried in the first place. nothing is going to happen at the snap of your fingers. anything in life worth having or reaching takes time and time is very precious. and what happens when we run out of time? we realize that everything we wish we could've done, should've been done with at least trying.and if you don't try at something, you'll never know what could've happened and you'll always wonder.
lord help me to seek the truth, though it may hurt, that's life. help me to grow in love and compassion towards my future and towards those i care about. continue to instill within me the faith that i lose sight of. continue to enlighten me through people and through my urge to seek your ways and the ways of living the life. i love you with all my heart, although at times i might not show it. forgive me for my sins for i am a sinner yearning for your spiritual cleansing. lord love me for me and judge me for me. i only work in your footsteps.
In Your Name, Amen.
wait... i have more on my mind, brb. |
| |
